Gag it, buddy. You are a moron.

Last night, my ex-husband and his new wife came over for some drinks and a movie. After about an hour of his normal conversation (blah, blah, blah this and on, and on, and on - no breathing required from this human evolutionary equivalent of a cockroach) along with his usual couchside movie watching diatribe, (why you feel you have to loudly comment on movies with others around I have no clue) I began to have really insane, violent visions that made me laugh out loud like some lunatic.

We were watching "The Chronicles of Riddick". I like this movie for the sci-fi junk and because I can get away with watching it without admitting to my boyfriend whatta hottie Vin Diesel is, because he likes sci fi movies also. The movie has lots of violent fight scenes with spears and such. I envisioned creating a spear with a couple of socks strapped to the end, and then impaling my ex in the mouth with the end so that he couldn't talk. I later told my boyfriend about my visions and he took it the wrong way, suggesting a ball gag a la "Pulp Fiction". I don't intend to go masochistic on my ex, I just want him to shut the fu*& up most of the time.