And, because I'm not getting any

I started reading this Forbes article: "Health Benefits of Sex: Is It Necessary?"

Too funny. We were talking about this recently, Z and I. Mostly because I don't think anyone is able to accurately measure some of the health benefits accrued through sexual behavior...mostly because some people are moving and some people....UGH. I'm now utterly embarassed that I even thought to bring this up. I'm blushing. No lie.

Anyway, here are a few tidbits from Forbes that made me laugh. Enjoy. I hope to.

ON EXERCISE AND OVERALL PHYSICALL WELL-BEING:
"Men's Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented. "

(Of course you do. )


REDUCED DEPRESSION?

"American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones. "

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!! OF COURSE Mr. Gallup DOES!)

PAIN RELIEF?

"Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS."

(Turn the tables on those bitches who won't put out. No "I have a headache tonight, dear" 's to be heard round here, dammit!)

I have saved the best for last. Read below.


BETTER TEETH?

"Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest--even Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted, parenthetically, that sexual etiquette usually demands the brushing of one's teeth before and/or after intimacy, which, by itself, would help promote better oral hygiene. "


Comment: I'm pretty sure it is on the Top Ten Man-Rules List that you keep up the subterfuge as sharply as you can. When men break down and act obvious in their duplicitousness, they can be harshly disciplined by the other men.

I am just kidding, of course. I believe in all of those. Fiercely.