Talk about Sperm Part II, Friday, November 4, 2005

So on another mental rambling about sperm, I found this link:

http://www.vgmerchandise.com/misc.html

There you can read about how Vincent Gallo http://www.vincentgallo.com/
(my favorite Van Gogh look alike)
is offering his sperm for a cool $1 Million.

Gallo seems interested in this from a propagation of the fittest, Darwin-esque attitude. In fact, the site offers a few genetic/racial characteristics that may intrigue him:

"Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."

(* Note: Please keep in mind that the article I read just prior to Vincent Gallo's classified was about the X and Y chromosome, how men are more likely to be either geniuses or mental retards, and how women have more variable chromosomes, meaning that they are more likely to be different.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4355355.stm)

Gallo's request is interesting. Not that I am actively seeking a mate to commingle chromosomes with, but I find his prerequisites intriguing.

"Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions"

That is too bad. Gallo's piercing features and crystalline colored eyes would make a very lovely mixed-race child. Just ask my Home Depot friend. Besides, a la "Waterworld", I am all about white folks getting some melanin. How do you expect to make it when the ozone layer is finally gone?

"$50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. "

Well I missed the blue eyed gene because Mom's genes were dominant. But I do have naturally blonde hair and I do have a family link to German soldiers of the mid-century.

"Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother..."

Hmm. That entire bit seems racist to me. I hate it when Jewish people are inextricably linked with the word "Jew". (See above). Sometimes it just sounds degregating. Sorry.

That being said, I may have to dismiss Gallo's request even further based on the even more racist stereotypes being affronted by him...that a Jewish baby would end up a major Hollywood big whig...

You missed out, Vinnie. My Great Great Grandad (on the same damn genetic side as those offensive Germans from the mid-century) was a Rabbi. Levi Zimmerman. So I may have qualified, even though I don't follow the Jewish religion. We're more talking about the racial quotient, aren't we?











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