AN EBAY EXPERIENCE: THE PICTORIAL ESSAY

I do like ebay a lot. Pretty soon you're going to see me on there, selling a bunch of stuff, and checking my auctions every 5 minutes from my laptop underneath my desk at work.

The other day I went on ebay to buy shoes for my birthday. I don't ever buy shoes anymore, because I've discovered my taste is too expensive to pay a mortgage. I clean the shoes I have and pray I win $500 on a GA scratch-off ticket.

Here are my excuses for my horrendous, absolutely disgusting ebay purchases:

My blood sugars are a mess.
Well, they are. I know you people are tired of hearing that but it's true. I have good days and bad. My Philly best friend says I need to make a goal of getting my blood sugars good for at least 6 months straight before I consider having babies. Lately, just a little stress does it. I haven't been working out, which doesn't help either.

I drank a bottle of wine the night before.
This actually might be a lie, so believe it for me and smile. I haven't had a full bottle on my own since that one night, ironing work clothes and watching Desperate Housewives, when I threw up. That was a sign, I think.

I was sleep deprived.
Now this actually may be true, I haven't been sleeping all that much. I can't help it. I'm a little high-strung.

I was hurriedly trying to make Ebay bids while my coworkers are arriving to work.
Absolutely true. Tell anyone and I swear I'll plead the fifth and start a rumor about your online porn addiction.

AND HERE ARE THE RESULTS! SEE BELOW!









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