Wanna play?

Zee and I went to an Xmas/Housewarming party last night, and we were excited because we were going to play poker. I learned a bunch of new things, and I thought I would share.

A. Don't drink too much. I had a "mother's little helper" on top of no dinner along with four sour apples and two dos equis. I threw up at about midnight, and promptly passed out on Zee's best friend's luscious bed upstairs.

B. There are three things to pay attention to in poker, and you better have a good grasp on at least two to play well. The first is reading your opponent. The second is statistical analysis, which in it's purest form is counting cards. The third is sheer balls. If you don't have them and you play conservative you will still get your heinie kicked.

C. Men are extremely sexy when playing for keeps, and are ridiculously sweet to the lone female playing. This can work to your advantage, but as I love all of those boys, I refused to work it.

I ended up losing out pretty quick because I couldn't afford to re-buy in too much. I also had this feeling about ten minutes into the game that I felt stoned and my head was swimming so I didn't think it would be a good idea to go VISA on my wallet. I did learn that I pay way too much attention to the statistics, and if I want to play that way I better learn to count cards. I have no doubt that my photographic memory would allow me to do that, but I honestly don't like gambling enough to put in the effort. Needless to say, my "I wanna wear an Elvis costume and get married in Vegas" man doesn't like my lack of persistence in this department. Oh well. When we go to Vegas I assume I will spend most of my time going to shows and getting lap dances.

Zee played very well, ( he is very good ) and brought home about four times what he put in. I was very proud. Again, men are extremely sexy when sitting around the table lying to eachother for the purpose of winning money. I love the excitement and the little nervous twitches around the mouth and eyebrows. Most men can't act, it isn't their fault. It all ends up okay as long as they don't rebuy in four times like one of the players did last night (I'm glad I am not him... I am sure his girlfriend took a chunk out of his ass afterward).