2005 Flu List

I must put together my 2005 flu list, containing activities and such from the last week. Here goes.

1. As always, daytime TV really sucks. Maury Povich used to be a decent man, from my memories of childhood. That "Lie Detector: Has your significant other cheated?" episode gave me a cramp and put me back in bed.

2. All of Viacom's reality shows are put out new once and then constantly recirculated, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I watched the same damn Newlyweds episode every day, for 5 days, for 5 minutes at a pop, until I realized the stupid station didn't have the sense to alter episodes. I still haven't fully seen the second Gitte/Flavor Flav episode because it pisses me off so badly that they don't change the programming.

3. Nothing ever tastes right when you are sick. I ended up throwing out a bunch of food in the fridge, and barely picking at my favorite foods. I went to the grocery store and replaced all of the thrown out stuff, and now I feel stupid because it still tastes bad. I feel like the little girl from "Signs": "It's contaminated".

4. My cats smothered me with neediness while I was ill. That is emotionally rewarding when you feel like crap, but is also irritating when you begin to feel better. There is something picturesque about the sleeping thing: White kitty spooning with the belly, black kitty spooning just underneath the ass. Yin Yang.

5. Men who hang around and make you soup are the best discovery of all time. I'm sure that my constant complaint - "It tastes funny" had to be a pain in the ass.

6. My daughter telling me she missed me made me feel nice. I couldn't hug her and kiss her and I still feel kind of lost.

7. Take extra bubble baths extra hot when you are sick. Instead of once a day, make it three or four times. Instead of 120, crank it to the top. You feel worse when you feel dirty, and you always feel yucky when you are ill.

8. Don't answer the phone or check your email. Life is so much nicer when you are ill and you choose to stay in a vacuum. My communication was limited to Zee and baby girl.

9. Why haven't they made movies of Artemis Fowl? Those books are awesome!

10. Reading by candlelight at midnight on a saturday night with the power out and an ice storm is kind of nice. Again, read Artemis Fowl.