Call Me Agnes: Wearing A Big Ponytail Driving My Hot-Pink Convertible Smoking My Camel Getting Hit By Oceanmist

Here is my story, morning glories:

I'm enjoying a full-blown upswing. Feeling good and all OCD and shit. I've been answering emails I've been putting off for months; answering the phone for people I've been blowing off; actually doing real work at the job I'm leaving in 7 workdays(!!!!!!!!!!!); checked all of my favorite websites (80); payed bills; downloaded a spreadsheet of my bills and calculated exactly how much gas money I've spent working at this current crappy job ( $580 in the past two months); writing nice notes to the boss-man i'm leaving; and commenting on blogs I've read today that I liked.

Not that you people care. I just thought you should know that I feel pretty elated right now. Euphoric, almost. So much so that I'm smelling things that aren't there. Like peanut butter.
Does that mean you are crazy when you smell things that don't exist?

So euphoric my happy visions came back today. I know I'm happy during my first hour on the road in the morning. I come to a stoplight, and as I'm watching - waiting for the stoplight to turn green - I envision a big, erect penis. Specifically, someone-I-know's big, erect penis. It's a sign of happiness, I believe. Who wouldn't be happy after getting the vision of a traffic-light-penis?

I thought I should pass along this insightful reflection of Snewo. My boss told me today that he had changed me...that when I walked in the door at this job I was DEMURE. Chortle chortle chortle chortle. For the girl who got several ultra-naughty nicknames in school - "Blow Job Queen", "Fihhhteeeen", and "Dust Bunny" come to mind*** - the idea that I was once DEMURE is a bit hysterical. My acting skills must have been really impressive at the time of hire.

Anyway, almost-not-my-boss said that he had made me a real SMARTASS. And I laughed.....and laughed.....and laughed.....

If he only knew.

Love you all. Hope I catch you on my way up because I'm sure having fun.

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***Note: I've yet to tell the "Blow Job Queen", "Fihhhteeeen", and "Dust Bunny" stories here. I'm a bit embarassed. I really only open my big trap of a mouth and disclose things I shouldn't when I'm in the hyper, upswing phase. Perhaps if you can catch me on my way up next time, I'll tell the stories. They're pretty infamous.



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