Hanging Threads

I have had an issue come up quite frequently in various conversations with a few friends. I thought I would address it because I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the topic.

No matter how secure a person may appear to be in their current relationship, you find that they allow these hanging threads to come along for the ride. Threads are those persons from the past that you keep around for various reasons. Physically this can be advantageous if you ever run into a dry patch - that person has been tested and tried and hopefully knows which paths to take. I can't comment on keeping threads around for purposes of your ego- that is just wrong and you need a houseplant to talk to.

The problem is, for the most part threads create problems in the future. They are a form of baggage, and face it, while in the midst of a provocative moment with someone new, the last thing you want to be mulling over is how your thread did it better last time you hooked up. All of that idiotic self-talk starts flying around in the heat of passion anyway. "Gee, I would get to see this (insert physical part here) on a regular basis if this thread was around. Surely their addiction/psychological issues/baggage/emotional dependency aren't that bad.

You have to set some barriers. A piece of ass is just a piece of ass, after all, no matter how you slice/dice/chop/saute/broil or bake it. First, decide if the thread is worth ruining your new prospect, because the thread has the potential to do so. Second, keep it simple. A few phone calls here and there are okay, but this is not your friend. This is a thread. Third, don't have grudge sex and call it a thread. It isn't the same thing, and that just turns into nastiness. Fourth, if you keep it mature and simplified enough, don't keep them around for extended periods of time. I don't believe in letting a thread spend the night, and you don't really need to make it a date.

This is just advice for what we used to call f@#$ buddies. Emotional threads are those strings you keep along just in case your relationship doesn't work, and you need to be in a relationship. Get over it. This is not wise. Why bother to do this whole back-and-forthing crap? If you end things efficiently and well, you have less stalker issues, less trauma, and people tend to get over you faster.

Remember, almost every relationship, no matter how insignificant and carnal, deserves a six month evaluation. Repair broken pieces and clean others. Do it with discretion and lucidly and you will find an easier life.