New Year's Eve

Despite feeling like a total idiot, I decided not to go anywhere venue-like for New Year's Eve. I have this thing about crowds this time of year, and all of those warnings from my mother about DUIs on New Year's Eve really did the trick. I figure I did enough playing as a youngster that I can afford to stay home and be boring, even though I do have a babysitter tonight for the first New Year's Eve in 5 years.

Some more things I learned in 2004, while we are still here.

1. Quit while you are ahead. Every man you link up with for an extended period of time has a worse ex than the last. This current ex gives me a massive hernia. That binding thing I did months ago only lasted on a very temporary basis. Listen to your wonderful 6 foot 6 flaming friend and do that visualization thing with the mirrors. She will go away.

2. Mouse is the coolest cat on the planet. Any cat who talks like he does has a superior intelligence. Keep talking back to him, he needs attention.

3. Don't feed the cats anything but Iams. That other crap just ends up in a puddle of vomit.

4. Don't drink Tequila with your mother and your sister. Last time you did that they kicked you out of the mexican restaurant you got so angry.

5. You will need to buy an espresso machine to make your own quadruple shots. Five Starbucks locations have now cut you off.

6. Your inability to dedicate time to eat until you are absolutely starving is not doing anyone any good, either. Learn to eat snacks. You are a true bitch when you are hungry.

7. It is nice having people around you on a continuous basis who are proud of you, who respect you, and who encourage you. Continue to keep those people around, and cut off the emotional vampires.

8. As long as you hide from those scary dreams at night, your subconscious will be affected during the day. It is much better to remember it, talk about it, write about it or whatever to get it out of your system.

9. Keep buying things that smell nice. The California Baby bodywash with the bubble wand from Whole Foods smells great. Find out where Zee's momma found that vanilla/Sandalwood soap. Hit the Caswell Massey outlet in Chattanooga when you have the opportunity, and that Crabtree Evelyn place.

10. The Bartow Diner that came to town made you really happy. The same owners have one in Calhoun and Dalton, and the place is great. The food is actually pretty mediocre but it reminds you of some of the wonderful greasy spoons from childhood.