Xmas went fairly well and turned out to be okay. Received a digital camera that I have been drooling over for a year. I haven't had a camera since my parents borrowed mine to take to Europe 4 years ago and either lost it or broke it, they won't admit to either one. I fully intend to go haywire with mine. I hope that film class I just took was informational enough - my camera makes film and has editing capabilities for each photo still - I intend to use that for interesting pursuits.

Mediated between the rugrats, fought with my ex and his wife in the morning. Everything seemed to go fine until Cee started blah-blah-blahing about how he found out his 12 year old sister is smoking pot.
I got pretty angry and went haywire when I found out that his wife is afraid to confront her because she doesn't want to destroy their confidence. Did a healthy bit of screaming in the living room about how it is not her job to be a friend, etc., etc., and etc.

Soothed zee a little bit as we left - he gave me my xmas present and I did like it a lot and told him so. Wish he didn't feel like xmas presents have to be all or nothing. Some of the best presents received were the ones that were made from the heart, not the ones that cost a fortune. Case in point:
My Dad googled my name and discovered that I was a comic book character in a '40s comic book. He printed out the comic book pages available from the web on photo paper, and made a little notebook for me about it. It was very sweet and thoughtful.

This xmas seemed very emotional and trauma-drama filled, I am not sure why. Spent plenty of time crying and yelling, and now I just feel emotionally vacant and empty. Perhaps it was having my ex around to irritate me, or zee's xmas blues, or my daughter's wanton exposure to the xmas commercialism projected on TV. Whatever it was, I feel sad and worn out and glad the whole thing is over. Somewhat looking forward to New Year's - it will be the first I have had a babysitter so I might have the opportunity to go embrace my wilder self like old times.

Wishing everyone the best. Lift your chin up, smile, and pray for a wonderful 2005.