I am the walrus....

Sometimes I find it a little vapid to quote song lyrics. However, I'm currently working on "My life: The Soundtrack". As a purely creative endeavour, it's perfectly acceptable to use really great, symbolic background music while my life unfolds.

And here is the song for today - The Beatles
"I am the Walrus"

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister City Policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying.
I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.



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So now you've got an idea of the background soundtrack clip, let's discuss the scene.

Snewo is in the midst of a rather lovely psychological disturbance.
Wakes up grumpy, takes her happy pills immediately. Makes a yummy cup of hazelnut coffee and lands in the computer chair. Investigates pooches, because she really wants to get Z a puppy for Christmas. Several breaks taken in this puppy research as she is also baking heath bar cookies.

One minute, she's exhausted and naps. The next minute, she's off running for hours and chasing the 78 lb. black dog from hell. Snewo comes home, with Charky in tow. Snewo tired again. Bathes for the third time that day. Then, in another minute, Snewo makes a remarkably succinct/lucid grocery list and becomes determined to get really ambitious - take the California King Ralph Lauren denim comforter to the laundromat while she shops at the next-door dollar store.

20 minutes of Snewo screaming at Charky to get her shit together, lugging the phone, my grocery list, my blackberry, my ligher and cigarettes, and that freaking humongous denim comforter to the car.

Drive. Semi-moment of peace has hit, as we meander down Mission Road behind some idiot in a Chevelle driving 30 mph.

Get to the gas station (finally) and pay at the pump. Realize that my local cheapo gas station just charged me $2.21 a gallon - regular. OOOWWWWTTCHHH.

CLimb back in the car, proceed to look for my laundry money that Z left me - I had a twenty underneath my blackberry. Discover Charky took it, and proceed to scream at her in the gas station parking lot. She proceeds to kiss almighty MOMMA's ass thenceforth.

Drop $4 in the wash, push the comforter in, feeling like a weakling. Go next door to the dollar store, and buy my remarkably lucid list:

Light Bulbs *
Hanging Nails *
Febreze*
Christmas wrap
yucky dollar store candies for my gingerbread house *
Postcard sized frame*

Pay, leave to go make sure no one has messed with my comforter. Charky and I watch it, transfixed by the swirling blue stripes on the underside...practically hypnotized, here. Drooling and the whole bit. Felt dizzy for a good couple of minutes.

Throw the comforter into the "SUPER" dryer (it's about as big as my bathroom in there) pop an indecent amount of money in, and take charky to Subway with me. I'm craving a veggie sub hardcore. I tell Charky to pray that nobody takes my comforter.

Get subs, go back to laundromat, get comforter.

Get home, eat, feel worn out. Started feeling antsy so I folded 8 large baskets of clothes that I've been putting off. And put my pretty new hot-pink Isaac Mizrahi sheet on my bed. WHOOOPPPEEEE! You have no idea how sexy my little black mousie cat looks on those hot pink sheets. It's like Kitty porn.

Then begin wrapping presents because my gift closet is so full it won't close. Discover I have to insert my mother's present - an antique Kewpie postcard circa 1925- in the frame, but the postcard itself needs some kind of backing to make it centered. Started a 30 min. project mounting the postcard on a piece of cream-colored cardstock, and affixing the antique postcard to the cardstock using ribbons. Ribbons run in each corner, 4 altogether and WHALLAA. Kewpie postcard centered in frame, mounted on cream cardstock, with four very pretty sage green ribbons.

Wrap more presents, but kick myself because I don't have the wrapping I want. I've been to the cheesiest places known to man, and I can't find the goofiness my grannie goose always wrapped with. Alvin and the CHipmunks. The Muppets.

So I wrapped three presents with this one acceptable wrap I have - it's blue with snowmen all over it. I hate snowmen, by the way. I'm throwing a little black humor into my christmases, dammit.

The other side of the snowmen wrap says HO all over the place in blue. Different fonted HOs, Different sized Hos. Ain't working for me. Every time I see it I'm disturbed.

SO I found the red spray paint, and graffittied all over the damn HO paper. It's very avant garde, "RENT" style xmas decor. I love it.

I finally got sleepy and realized I needed to go clean up my messes. If I leave them Z will get all worried that I'm in a hypermanic phase and try to bang me to sleep. Am I the only girl out here who doesn't pass out after sex? Every time he tries that shit when I'm on a roll like this one, I end up staying up until 4 or 5 because I can't come down. Those feel-good hormones released in sex only make me want to go go go - you're happy, aren't you?

Thank god I didn't try to make the gingerbread house tonight.

Thank god I took 2 benadryl and 2 ambien. I'm finally a little tired.

I am the walrus oo coo chi cooo...........



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