Life is difficult when you are unemployed

Mostly because considering employment stinks of corporate sell-outedness.
Why can't I get paid to do what i want, namely:

- read a couple of novels a day. Right now I'm reading David McCullough's 1776, Isabel Allende's Zorro, and some cheesy book called "Sweet Cherry Hollow".
- Cook like a Top Chef. My newest is "Chili Apple Tarts with Ginger Cream Frost". And damn if it isn't amazingly good.
- Practice for Project Runway, because my Mother, an accomplished seamstress herself, claims that my construction skills rival John Galliano's. I just need to learn how to use the sewing machine properly, because my hand-stitching skills rock. I don't know anyone in the normal Snewo planet who can hand-ruche.
- Go all OCD and collage frames for artwork I've always meant to hang. My current project is all the cool CD inserts I've saved over the years, which I mean to hang in some humongous 8x10 mural.
- Have wicked fun manic episodes, where I begin 16 projects all at once leaving the messiest house known to man
- Spend the next 4 days cleaning up my messy house from my manic creative state.
- Have sex with my man, which is proving to be a lot of fun. Who knew you could still like sex after being with someone for 4 years and 5 months? What the hell? Is this some freaky long honeymoon period or what?
- Walk 3 hours per day, and jump up and down when I lose 3 lbs. per week (despite my absolutely crappy Top Chef eating habits).
- Emboss wedding invitations
- Sew patchwork quilts
- Organize my monstrous wardrobe, which I've discovered encompasses something like 6 CLOSETS FULL. I need to donate to the poor nude children in Africa.


And so on and so forth. I used to be so determined to run my own little cocaine cartel so I could fund my creative endeavors, a la Andy Warhol or Jackson Pollack. I need to set up a freaking paypal account for you people to support me.

Because I'm freakingly broke. Like $380 in my checking account (they closed the savings since it was so empty), and a credit score that has dropped 100 POINTS due to my past due accounts. Like the outrageous $1100 in prescriptions I've spent in the past 6 months.

Trust me, the manic states are well worth it. I just need help paying for the mood stabilizers. Which are supposedly working.

Excuse me while I go find another valium. I located about 5 yesterday while cleaning out one of my 14 purses I had stuffed in a plastic bag in the basement.

Haha.






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