How Snewo Got Her Groove Back

I’ve been pushing this whole “oil production is at the beginning of the end” theory for years now. I once discussed Hubbert’s Theory and the end of gasoline. For great reading, check out Fortune’s profile of Richard Rainwater (http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2005/12/26/8364646/) and Rainwater’s favorite website (www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/). George Bush has been using a geothermal unit for the heating/cooling of his Crawford, TX ranch – for years. Kind of interesting for the former President of a big oil company, dontcha think?

Anyway, Z bought me a fugly car for Christmas, and we finally got a legal tag for it last week. I began driving it on Monday.

Keep in mind, I was driving a 2-door Explorer with 270K miles, and getting around 10 miles/gallon. Really.

I’ll describe my new ugly car. It’s a maroon ’94 Nissan Sentra, with a big dent on the front and a big dent on the trunk (the driver’s side, of course). It appears as though the previous owner deliberately swerved to hit passing children or old ladies.

Did I mention the half-dollar sized spots throughout where the paint has chipped away?

The window tint is questionably legal, and only covers the four door windows and the back glass. The tint is bubbling up on the back glass, creating a strange trippy psychedelic poster-like feel.

The upholstery is light grey chamois feel stuff that has been rubbed to no tomorrow, and is irreparably stained.

I hope that is a pretty good job describing the appearance – now I’ll tell you how I feel about this car.

First, I could easily drive this thing everyday, and feel a sense of shame. The state of my financial affairs is grim to say the least; I’m about four steps away from declaring bankruptcy. I have these freaking bill collectors calling every hour – on the hour – even on Sunday.

This car sits in the very tiny parking lot at my workplace, and I can’t hide it. It certainly is the ugliest car there.

But boy does it drive. It reminds me of Z’s old Honda CRX, completely spare on the inside, lightweight, with a ton of zoom-zoom. It darts and handles curves and has a ton of get-go.

A couple of years ago, I would’ve totally x-nayed the idea of driving another little four-cylinder cradle of death. My accident on the way home in Aug. ’05 scared the shit out of me. I still don’t drive well in the rain – my heart starts pounding and my forehead feels clammy.

Driving this car, with my ass 17 inches off the pavement, makes me feel alive. I don’t know why. Somehow I feel unburdened.

The car is way ugly, and is a true testament to my financial well-being. But I feel defiantly poor again, and that is kind of nice. I kind of miss the days when we bought veggies from the local farmers, and ate meat-free dinners every other night because we couldn’t afford the meat. When I spent a lot of time sewing because it was cheap, easy, and unleashed my creative side. When an evening of entertainment meant a trip to the park with Charky. When I figured out how to weave my plastic grocery bags into doormats, and feel accomplished because I had created something durable, recycled, and blue. When $5 could buy me enough gas to tool over to my best friend’s house, Taco Bell, and a pack of smokes.

I may not drive this thing in the rain; we’re supposed to have significant downpours this evening so we’ll see how my commute home goes. However, I do know this:

A. When I drive that clunky Explorer, I’ll miss that feeling of being alive.

B. I still won’t get over getting 22 miles/gallon. It now costs $3.50 to get to work, where it was costing $8.

C. I feel like I can hide behind the assumptions that come from others when they view this little ugly car.

D. My go-go gadget superpowers went away a long, long time ago. Most people who knew me back in the day wonder how I became so boring and sedate. I was once spontaneous and the leader of misbehavior. This car makes me remember that free spirit, and I like it. I needed it.



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