Conference Sex

Sorry, but I've been stuck at a conference in Atlanta all day. Did you know that conferences/seminars are the new white-collar hook up spot? I sat with this nice gentleman with two kids and a lovely wife that he obviously missed in Allentown, PA. While chatting, we noticed and overheard two different couples, at the two nearby tables, hooking up prior to lunch. It went a little like this:

" Sooooo. Are you staying here at the hotel?"

Focused gaze.

"Umm...yeah. Next door, actually. South Tower."

Pause. Pause. Man shifts in seat, adjusts his tummy. You ever notice that men are always wiggling their torsoes when they are getting worked up?

"Soooo. Do you really eat the crappy catered lunches they provide at these things?"

Pause. Pause. Man looks down at the naked white tablecloth, as if he is contemplating the growdy hotel food he desperately wants to miss. He also knows how difficult it will be to sit through another 5 hours of boring conferencing after having gotten laid and without a meal.

"Ummm, no. I can't stand hotel food."

Watch them as they pretend to focus on the presenter. Every once in a while, make eye contact and avert their eyes quickly, as if they are still not comfortable with the idea of a one-lunch-lay.

Exit two couples 5 minutes prior to lunch. My table companion and I look at eachother and grin ruefully.

After lunch, couples missing for a full extra hour or so...both couples begin entering the conference room casually. One at a time. Woman looks like she just swallowed a canary. Man looks ready for bed. The two women make their way to the front of the room, near the presenter - picking out the two lone seats at the full tables. Men glance around, looking for their new companions. Sit by themselves at two tables towards the back.

Women. Now wearing the belt/pants, and increasing their notch holes one conference at a time. I'm a little grossed out.















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