Love and Sex, 2.1

Ok, so I'm discovering that porn is gross. I actually used to like porn. In a way other than laughing at old '70s porns while high. (If you haven't tried it - please do. There isn't anything better than seeing women and men in '70s attire in ultra-ridiculous scenarios. I think the last one watched was the one about the Truck Stop gigolos and the butchy female big rig drivers. High comedy, I'm telling you.)

Anyway, I found this video of Scott Stapp and Kid Rock getting BJs on what looks like a tour bus. And I was grossed out.

http://www.youtube.com/?v=MmSAtuTYcc8

I readily admit I don't like amateur porn. I'm just not into the whole watching thing. Watching other people do it is a little repulsive to me. It reminds me of something traumatic - like walking in on your parents.

Porn needs to be fake and with a set and a good sound editor and nice lighting. Porn needs airbrushing ( I don't want to see your C-section scars; men and their nasty, un-loofahed places under their butts; stretch marks; hair - especially icky back hair that pops off your shoulders UGH; tan lines; wrinkles; baggy eyes) because it is supposed to be theatre. The best movies of any kind - porn or not - are the ones that get you hot. So why the hell are you watching very un-Hollywood-like crap of your next door neighbor, banging his wife on his icky paisley Walmartesque sheets, lit by his also-icky black fluted halogen lamp from afore-mentioned store.

So check the Scott Stapp / Kid Rock video out. Mebbe it's just me, but porn isn't sexy anymore - watching people who obviously care absolutely nothing for eachother getting off.....well, it seems like a Discovery Channel documentary of lions in Zimbabwe. No emotion, just a fuc&.

I'm turning into a real girl. Damn. No wonder women like romance novels. It's the feelings accompanied by all the thrusting and sweat and etc. that is the hot part.

Thus ends our lesson for today, young neophytes.

Next lesson: Snewo's theory on how plasticky, surgically enhanced porn stars (lets say 1986 on...) destroyed two or three generations of men.


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