Stay Home with the Babies

This morning, on the way to work, I got stuck behind a stopped schoolbus on Hwy 9/Alpharetta Hwy. It stops in front of this heavily Hispanic apartment complex each morning around 7:10 AM, and stops four lanes of traffic. I'm usually early enough so I miss it, but this morning was a different story.

So I'm watching this situation ensue outside of the schoolbus. These parents are standing in line, waiting with their children, ready to put them on the bus and wave "bye-bye". But the line isn't proceeding. In fact, all of the parents and children are turned around, looking at a parent and child further back in the line.

I'm interested. What the hell are these people doing, not getting on the bus? They're slowing my what has already turned out to be hour long commute to work. Those little shits need to get the hell on the bus and get the fuc& out of my way, dammit.

But then, the situation becomes apparent. This poor dad, standing towards the end of the line, is having to drag his little boy(definitely a kindergartner, or a shrunken first-grader) to the bus. The boy keeps plopping his butt down on the grass, and refuses to budge. The dad isn't yelling at the kid - you can tell by his body language that this poor parent is probably bewildered.

Thus the dragging continues for another few minutes or so. The dad picks up the kid at one point, and you can tell his intention is to physically place the little kid on the bus. The kid hurls himself at the ground, and the dragging ensues.

Finally, the other kids begin to get on the bus. I imagine the bus driver was yelling at this point, and I can feel the venom boiling from the other stopped drivers around me. The father and son are now out of sight, hidden by the side of the bus facing the apartment complex.

Then you see the dad, holding his son's hand, walking away from the bus and back towards the apartments. The bus pulls away, and my trip continues.

It was in that instant that I wanted to go home. I was completely prepared to go to work today, even though I feel like absolute doo-hickey. I've been in this weird, cold-bug/time of the month/high blood sugar phase for about a week. My body hurts. I just want sleep.

But I'm trying to hang on to my vacation days so I can have a nice, long vacation next year, post-wedding. So I've been dragging myself into work, despite the fact I really belong home in bed.

When I saw the schoolbus incident, I wondered about that little boy. I worried that he didn't like school, or that some of the kids were mean to him. I worried that he missed his daddy, and really just wanted to hang out with him on this beautiful Friday.

I suddenly wanted to go home and hug my baby. She's growing up so fast, but she's still just a little girl. After a long, stressful day driving to work, working, and driving home, I'm a human shell. I really don't have much to offer emotionally.

And I know she craves connection, because she tells me so. Not in words, mind you, but since she started writing she makes me cards every day after school.

"From Charlotte - To Momey. I love you."

I think I'm one hair short of a little breakdown, so bear with me while we pause for a commercial break.





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