Wednesday, August 31, 2005


You should see the freaks out here lining up in droves for $6 gallons. It's the end of the world as we know it. Ol' Sonny Purdue was nice enough to declare a state of emergency at 6 PM (it had been going on since late morning) and freeze the prices. Posted by Picasa

Grooming Politicians for Christ, by the Legal Reader

I'm in a pretty shit$y mood about the state of affairs in this country. Over the past few day, several things have led me astray:

1. Get into conversation with my mother about my visit to Austin, TX, planned for this weekend. Jokingly tell her that one tourist spot I won't miss is Cindy Sheehan's rally in Crawford. She starts blathering about how it makes her sick when people compare the War in Iraq to the War in Vietnam. She says, "It's not like the Vietnamese came over here and bombed us."

My response, "But the Iraqi's didn't come over here and bomb us either, Ma." is left upon deaf ears.

2. Put up with crazy conspiracy theorist in class, the one who says the WF and the Fed are owned by the Bushes and the Rockefellers, and passes out a copied sheet with "every book I've ever read", all comprised of revolutionary-style conspiracy theory literature. I was satisfied, however, when I told him that he missed "The Valley of the Dolls", and he needed to rent the Bette Midler movie about the author. He gave me this look of death that was just priceless, then proceeded to irritate the snot out of me for the next four hours.

3. I went to quik trip at lunch to finish off my gas tank (my new vehicle fills up at over $50, and a full tank lasts me a little over 2 days commute) and realized that I was in the midst of a state of panic. People were lined up, sometimes four cars per pump, filling up in their state of anxiety. One woman was inside screaming at the clerk that he had changed the gas prices this morning (from 2.59 unleaded to 2.79) right before she got there, and she should get the 2.59 price.

What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you so deluded and ridiculous that you can't even tell when you are behaving like morons, or engaging in right wing groupthink?

Just to reiterate how bad it is becoming out there, read "Grooming Politicians For Christ", by the Legal Reader.

http://www.legalreader.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-t2b.cgi/1772

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Oil, Armageddon and China

My Forbes online subscription rocks. I get all of their lists - "Best Alcoholic Drinks To Make You Fat"; "Expensive Houses You Will Feel Guilty About Buying For The Rest Of Your Life"; and "Movers and Shakers: Be Another Petty Earthling And Follow What Other Supremely Rich Earthlings Are Purchasing".

Their article today, "It's Only the Beginning" (David A. Andelman), is pretty much the most scary, dour article I think I have ever read in a nonfiction publication. Dude, it's not like I don't fear the end of the world anyway, and have nightmares about living on some raft aka "Waterworld", eating squirmy fishies that are acid rain green, and developing biceps the size of dumbbells due to paddling around all day. My poor kid will have dreads, but will still be cuter than that weirdo "Waterworld" twerp with the shaggy hair. My man, who absolutely detests any kind of physical labor, would most likely get stabbed for steak in the midst of one of my PMS rages "What do you mean you didn't fillet the fish!?!"

Anyway, read it. Absorb the most persuasive viewpoint (from the economist/political perspective) of why you need to buy a bike tomorrow.
Find out why you will get rich with me when we invest in hybrid, alterna-teen energies.

"It's Only the Beginning" (David A. Andelman)
http://www.forbes.com/2005/08/25/oil-reserves-china-commentary-cx_daa_0825chinaoil.html?partner=commentary_newsletter

Monday, August 29, 2005

Support for egotistical activities: The Lawyers!

Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

The lawyers said I can google my own name and feel justified about it.
See Here, "Google Yourself":
http://www.insurancedefenseblog.net/insurancedefenseblog/
and
http://www.legalmutual.com/summer05/webtheft.htm

I'm fighting identity theft, dammit.

On the converse, I suppose you could spend the rest of your life rationalizing the shitty things you do based on one twisted, completely erroneous viewpoint. Apparently attorneys do this quite a bit. I call it illogical, and a true 'slippery slope' way to spend your life.

But dang, "the Federal Trade Commission states that identity theft is the fastest growing crime today". http://www.idtheftcenter.org/html/facts_and_statistics.htm

Saturday, August 27, 2005


 Posted by Picasa


at Chris Farley's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony Posted by Picasa

Tom Arnold, you are truly looking well, sir. Nice job. You looked absolutely horrendous during your unfortunate marriage to Ms. Barr. Nice to see people fix themselves up. You look happy. Congratulations.


Um...she is how old? Posted by Picasa

Janice Dickinson, Your boobies are scary

I appreciate that you admitted to plastic surgery, but why so barbie like? You need to do a Hustler shoot to take advantage of the shape you were given by the plastic surgeon.

And now, for our regularly scheduled programming

I recently discovered a website that publishes celebrity pics daily, as they attend the events their managers send them to. This is terribly vapid and interesting, almost like watching the VH1 specials on celebrities.

I discovered a pic of Lacey Chabert. For your memory, this actress is famous for being Charlie's irritating little sister on "Party of Five". I hated this kid with a passion, and cringed every time they put her onscreen. However, Party of Five was essential at one time because it came on right after Melrose Place.

Lacey has definitely grown up, and her last acting job of note was a role as a mean girl in Lindsay Lohan's "Mean Girls". I am intrigued by the fairly rapid development of her face and her body. She slowly developed big itties, and her nose and face is very, very different. Is she another one of these poor Hollywood children whose mother's drive them to casting calls? Did she slowly endure plastic surgery to continue to meet certain casting directors' demands? Perhaps.

See for yourself. I posted pictures of Lacey in chronological order, starting from the most recent to "Party of Five".


Recent Pic of Lacey Chabert Posted by Picasa


Lacey doin the Lacey Posted by Picasa


"Mean Girls" Posted by Picasa


Lacey's irritating little girl on "Party of Five" Posted by Picasa


Stephanie Klein  Posted by Picasa

And now for the guilt (or, WHY IT IS OKAY TO HATE STEPHANIE KLEIN)

The good certainly do die young.

And as I read the other perspective, on why Stephanie Klein is a self indulgent twat, I begin to feel pangs of guilt about my last blog post. Yes, it is ultimately indulgent to post about 8 Billion boring pictures of yourself on your blog. Yes, describing the contents of your bedside table is boring when the contents are a reflective piece resembling something from the New Yorker.

But I begin to feel even more guilty when I find out just how goofy it is to allege copyright infringement based on a pretty funny satire. I find this all to be something like if Mike Myers' Mother-In-Law had sued for his Linda Richman character. If you are written about in the New York Times, and you are on your way to a book deal, then sorry, baby, you are fair game. I said that you were on your way to being a good writer. I dare say I wonder why you were granted a book deal so quickly, as you are ON YOUR WAY.

I'll gladly support anyone who is against that kind of neurotic, egocentric pity-party.

And here they are, the blasphemers according to Blogspot, the people wearing a "Stephanie Klein sued me" t-shirt. Although I am done discussing it, and I won't read Greek Tragedy any longer, I support you in spirit.

http://lindsayism.com/2005_08_01_archive.php#112507059146061457
http://taleoftwosisters.blogspot.com/
http://rangelife.typepad.com/rangelife/2005/08/the_lamest_stor.html
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/
http://celebrationofbanality.blogspot.com/
http://www.seenster.com/movabletype/archives/2005/08/thanks_for_ruin.html
http://noisette.blogspot.com/2005/08/if-only-id-taken-copyright-in-law.html
http://federalism.typepad.com/
http://360degreesofsky.blogspot.com/

Greek Tragedy (Stephanie Klein) v. The Satire Blog

Hmmm....

I received a comment about my Stephanie Klein post. (Apparently someone out there in the blogging universe has time to google their own posts, or "Stephanie Klein" or something. Granted, I admit I google the name of my blog, so I guess my blast of that one is completely unwarranted and I am just as narcissistic as the next creature on earth).

Anyway, this lovely reader commented, and asked me if I knew that Stephanie Klein had sent a comment to the folks at Blogspot, because she didn't like a certain satire blog that made fun of her. ( See the blog at http://taleoftwosisters.blogspot.com/, the article about the tale of two sisters blog being shut down by Stephanie Klein's allegations of copyright infringement at http://lindsayism.com/2005_08_01_archive.php#112507059146061457)

So I will comment on the comment. First, Stephanie's writing style is a bit fruity and chick-lit like, but I believe she is on the path of great writing. Second, I don't believe she is trying any harder than the rest of us with her allusions to the "good life". True, she does talk about her clothes quite a bit, and her Dean & Deluca purchases, and her gourmet-esque cooking. However, I don't particularly find those affectations to be pursuits of TV characters or the wealthy. I shop Dean & Deluca by catalogue, and I consider myself a pretty great cook (thanks given to my 8 month stint as a pastry chef, and my sister's influences). If I can carry a Kate Spade bag ($5 from Goodwill) and shop Dean & Deluca in itty bitty Crittersville, Georgia, I can't fault a NYC girl for following the same line of thought.

Third, I don't see a whole lot of "Sex and the City" in her blog. She doesn't talk about getting laid anywhere as much as I do. I thought the whole point of "Sex and the City" was for us boring chicks to want to fantasize about a life of a career woman in NYC, who has an interesting sex life while affording Prada.

As far as the satire girls go, what was the purpose of satirizing her blog? Is she that irritating? I can understand, I suppose. Somehow I feel that this satire was a response to a deeper feeling...the satire writer must know Stephanie Klein from somewhere.

I will substantiate this by Stephanie's shitty comment letter to blogspot, criticizing this satire. Why the fu#k would she care if someone had satirized her blog? A satire blog is the epitome of making it, my dear. More exposure for you, and your "blog-hits" will reveal that, I'm sure.

How does any federal copyright act protect her? I am lost there. I can totally see some goombah at blogspot taking her threat seriously due to the fear of litigation. As someone who works in legal, albeit not an attorney, I am a little pissed about that. So much wasted time spent in this world at a ridiculous billable rate, concerned with someone with their feelings hurt who threatens legal action. Shame on you.

I just want to write my own crap. Thanks. Appreciate the info, so I can check out the satire, which is pretty funny. Everyone is ripe for criticism. Laugh a little. Be pleased that your personality is definite enough to be a candidate for satire.

Thanks for the entrance into the ultra-weird world of the internet. This must be what happens when girls go tech. Catty, bitchy........................

Friday, August 26, 2005


Summer Moon Posted by Picasa

Quote from the Los Angeles Times - The Housing Bubble

COMMENTARY: Bill Maher on Housing Prices
I had a refrigerator delivered this morning and a homeless guy offered me $3 million for the box.

Greek Tragedy - my vote for best blog ever

I think I may have mentioned Stephanie Klein's blog, "Greek Tragedy", in passing lately. If I haven't been succinct enough, here you go. STEPHANIE KLEIN IS AN AMAZING WRITER. THE NEW YORK TIMES WROTE AN ARTICLE ABOUT HER AND I COMPLETELY AGREE. SHE IS A GENIUS.

If you honestly are interested in finding out why Stephanie is so amazing, read her blog entry from yesterday, titled "If". She is the little voice inside my head that doesn't know how to communicate verbally, but is able to write it down.

http://www.stephanieklein.blogs.com/

Absolutely incredible. She describes what it is like to be in the presence of incredible talent ( I think she was talking about Ray La Montaigne, I completely agree) - the chill bumps, the tears of wonder. The way that someone with genius can make us passionate and excited as if we were children again, no baggage and sarcasm to hold us back from our intense appreciation. Love that girl.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

C-Section Debate

Another Yahoo article to send me into a furied passion.
Read, "Battle Lines drawn over C-Section", located at
http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20050824/ts_usatoday/battlelinesdrawnovercsections

Article discusses how most hospitals will not allow a pregnancy to be delivered vaginally if the mother had previously birthed by C-section.

I feel strongly about this one, I admit. I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but I am pretty positive I'm right on this one.

My ex-hippie, ex-nudist parents gave me a great book during my pregnancy.
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, by Susan McCutcheon.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0452276594/qid=1124992130/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-3721009-8961611?v=glance&s=books

The Bradley Method of childbirth is about as natural as you get. Teaches you how Lamaze and other breathing exercises used to calm you during labor actually make the experience more stressful. Talks about how episiotomies are completely unnecessary, and ruin a woman sexually from thereon. Discusses Caesarian Sections, and how most hospitals/M.D.s do an unnaturally high proportion of them because they don't want to wait the standard 36 hours for the labor process. ( You didn't know how long labor really is, did ya? It starts way before you know anything is happening.)

You see, insurance companies dictate our health care. They don't want to pay for excessive stays in the hospital - no more than 48 hours for a natural birth, around the same for a C-section.

It is important for me to note that I didn't have a natural childbirth - the MDs insisted a C-section was medically necessary. However, my mother followed the Bradley method for two of her three children's births, and felt that it was much easier when painkillers and episiotomies were not introduced.

Bush Administration F-Ups

I was just noodling around the news headlines on Yahoo, and read more about the Bush administration's outing of a CIA operative:
"A CIA Cover Exposed"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/latimests/20050825/ts_latimes/aciacoverblownawhitehouseexposed

Funnily enough, there was a new one against the Bush administration just directly below it. Read about a Justice Department researcher's results from a racial profiling study. Minorities (blacks, hispanics) are pulled over in equal percentages as white people. Who woulda thunk it. However, minorities are "are much more likely to be searched, handcuffed, arrested and subjected to force or the threat of it."

Guess which researcher was silenced when he wanted to reveal the results of this study in 2001? Guess which Administration had just taken office?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050825/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/traffic_stops

Stupid, stupid people

So I don't know if I have mentioned why I am so freaked out about driving. I need to clarify. I don't feel I could have done anything differently to prevent my accident, other than being a few minutes earlier or later. Therefore, I am feeling a little out of control. I don't like that. It's a bit like being a manager - you have to relinquish control in order to garner reliability and independence from your team. If you don't, you become a micro-manager.

The car wreck kind of works the same way. I am a freaked out mess on the road because I am in a state of panic about what the world is doing. I can hear my father's response to that now: "Let it be. You were never in control. Control is a flawed perception."

Anyway, I found this site today, with an example of what kind of stupid people you have operating vehicles near you.

http://members.aol.com/DallasKRSRider/350Z.html

The pics are great.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Puke and Prostitution

I have plenty to talk about, but I have a feeling we may be on a blog hiatus for awhile. I stopped this morning, on my way to work, in a church parking lot for 15 minutes. After I lost my cookies, I got back in the car and drove the rest of the way.

I know that I was feeling panicky and claustrophobic, but I completely don't feel well right now either. We'll see.

So I don't leave on a pukey note, read this article for kicks.
Cartersvillian Ex-Pro-Wrestler runs Prostitution Ring.
http://www.wwe-club.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=24919

or

http://www.11alive.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=50827
There is a pic of Mr. Harrison on the webpage above. He certainly is a fine looking gent.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Great Websites - A little this, A little that

From my favorite web resource, Resource Shelf:
http://www.resourceshelf.com/

1. Geeky Fun:

Resources, Reports, Tools, Lists, and Full Text Documents
Online GamesSource: UPDATE: GamesfortheBrain
Go To: http://www.gamesforthebrain.com/
Addictive! "Play neverending quiz and memory games to train your thinking skills." Games designed and built by ResourceShelf friend, Philipp Lenssen. UPDATE: GamesfortheBrain is now available in several languages in addition to English: + Chinese+ German+ Slovak+ Spanish

2. For the Greenpeace member in you:

Resources, Reports, Tools, Lists, and Full Text Documents
Toxic Chemicals--United States--DatabasesSource: NLMNew Version of TOXMAP Available
Go To: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/pubs/techbull/ja05/ja05_technote.html#toxmap

"TOXMAP is an interactive web site from the National Library of Medicine that shows the amount and location of reported toxic chemicals released into the environment on maps of the United States. TOXMAP allows users to visually explore information about releases of toxic chemicals by industrial facilities around the United States as reported annually to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)."

3. For the "X-Files" Fan:

UFO's--Digital CollectionsSource: Library and Archives Canada
New, Canada's UFO's: The Search
Go To: http://www.collectionscanada.ca/ufo/index-e.html

"Within the vault of Library and Archives Canada there exist files from five government departments that were involved with collecting data and conducting investigations on unidentified flying objects (UFOs). The Department of Transport, Department of Communications, Department of National Defence, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the National Research Council all dealt with reports, sightings and investigations of UFOs across Canada. Each department had different interests and goals. The truth about their investigations is found in files held by Library and Archives Canada. A selection of these files have been digitized and made available on this site."

Saturday, August 20, 2005

News Article about the Car Wreck

I finally found it.

http://www.daily-tribune.com/NF/omf/daily_tribune/archive_display.html?[rkey=0035052+[cr=

Massive wreck stalls I-75 traffic
Joe Hiett Associate Managing Editor Published August 17, 2005 11:30 PM CDT
It began when a car northbound on I-75 hit a guardrail at about 4:45 p.m., north of the Etowah River bridge in Bartow County. By the time all three lanes were cleared, northbound traffic had been at a standstill for almost two hours and more than a dozen vehicles were involved in the accordion-like wreck.
"We were first told 20 vehicles were involved," said Georgia State Patrol Communications Equipment Officer Heath McGuire. "It wound up being around 12."
McGuire said seven GSP officers worked the massive tie-up, with traffic being diverted onto U.S. 41 north and even onto state Hwy. 293 northbound. At least seven people were treated for injuries, he added.
For the full story, please read The Daily Tribune News. Call 770-382-4545 to subscribe.


Diving off the Temple Ganges Posted by Picasa

Shake out the boring

I admit I have been a bit of an emotional mess this past week. Somehow, this thing that happened has provided a deep source within - like this scary melting pot of anxieties and sadnesses - related to the crash and not.

I'm seeking normalness again. I cry a lot, and I know that isn't me as I should be, normally. I see weird significance in a lot of things, but for the most part, I feel stunned. Stunned like I have been hit by a big brick in the face. Stunned like I have been living by the motions, without inspiration. Smells were without scent, love was without passion, sights were drab and colorless. To me, this is the ultimate symptom of modern misery. When we grow so accustomed to our lives of hell and stress, and are no longer fighting it constantly. Our days are routine and boring. We could be tracked easily by our movements - 9 Am, Starbucks Frappucino. 11:30 Am, phone call to my mother. 4:30 Pm - drive home and wish I weren't driving home, wish I were home already.

If you have seen the movie "Fight Club", and you hear Edward Norton's narrative at the beginning about his life as a boring IKEA catalogue puruser, you know what I mean. When you can't remember the last time you did something spontaneous and different that you think you could fall into an IKEA furniture style - Hemingway or Ashton or Blur - your life has become meaningless and you have fallen into the trap of the Matrix.

I've been jarred out of my normalcy. I don't feel boring. I feel as if I am still trying to comprehend the absolute severity in which I was shook up and out. Today I made Green Tea instead of coffee for breakfast. Although this was mostly because I ran out of coffee, and I haven't wanted to drive to the grocery store, I feel that my aberration from routine excited me somehow.

I don't want a cookie cutter life. In fact, I think if you were to talk to anyone who knows me, they would laugh if you were to describe me as one of the 'normals'. I don't do it all this way on purpose. I honestly march to the beat of a very different drum. I haven't been very good at doing things because you are supposed to...I think that is apparent when you walk into my home.

I erred against my emotional needs. I began to walk a boring existence. I began to become an IKEA style, when everyone knows I like to shop at antique stores and Goodwill. I am not meant to be the kind of person who becomes excited when it is the white sale in the Macy's home department.

Last night, I got high on painkillers and drove around and looked at houses for sale. As I drove, I realized what a wannabe yuppie I have been.

There is a house for sale that is a run down 80s cedar, designed by someone on LSD. It has no apparent, normal floorplan, and is kind of just loosely arranged around a large rectangular/square area. It sits on 2.5 acres in the woods, with an electric fence, an electronic keypad at the gate, and video surveillance.

On the other hand, there are a million spec vinyl-sided split levels for sale, all on about a 1/4 acre, in the middle of a sea of subdivisions.

I had been looking at these spec monstrosities. They aren't me. I don't really want grass to mow, or neighbors nearby with their polished SUVs and 3K wooden playhouses in the backyard. I don't fit there.

I'll call the realtor on the house on the woods. Time to start behaving like myself again.

Thursday, August 18, 2005


Z's terrible pic of me Posted by Picasa

Yesterday was a weird day. I took an early lunch and went shopping. I was thrilled to pieces when I found both a Kate Spade and a Louis Vuitton bag for $8 a piece. (The Goodwill near my work is amazing). I bought my mom a pair of BCBG Max Azria pants for $5, and I also got the entire Ramona Quimby book collection to read to Charky.

I left work at 3:34, a bit miffed that my mother had made me late leaving by calling me at 3:24PM. I was rushing - Z had to be at work at 5:30, and I wanted to see him before he left. I knew it would take around 70 minutes to get home, leaving me about 20 minutes to hang out with him.

As I am driving my last stretch home, on I-75 North, the rain starts coming down in huge droplets. At first, I didn't even need the wipers on, it was falling so slowly. I remember thinking how beautiful the big drops were on my windshield, and how bright the sky was, like a dream. As it started to come down heavier, I cranked the wipers all the way up - I knew it was a flash rainstorm and was really going to come down.

Then, as I was almost on the part of the highway that is a bridge over the Etowah River - only 1 mile from my exit on Main Street Cartersville - I saw this huge fog in front of me. It was incredibly condensed, and I couldn't see much. The next thing you know, I realized that the three cars 30-40 feet in front of me weren't moving. I slammed on the brakes and started fishtailing (70 mph). I remember thinking how I was scared I was of going off the bridge and into the river. I remember thinking how much like a rollercoaster it was, and how I really hate rollercoasters. The cars are coming closer, and it seemed like I was frozen in a dream. I could hear my brakes squeeling, and I could hear the crunch of cars hitting other cars behind me. Then I blacked out.

When I came to, I kept feeling cars hitting me in the backend. The car was spinning around on the middle of the highway, on the center of the bridge. My neck kept snapping forward and backward, forward and backward. Finally, it stopped. I shook like a leaf. I looked around outside (both passenger and drivers' windows were knocked out - one by my elbow and one by a truck) to see if it was all clear, or if cars were still smacking into eachother. I realized that it had all stopped, and that screams were coming from other cars outside. I tried opening my door, but it wouldn't budge.

Smoke started coming in at my face from the steering column. My eyes burned, and I coughed and gagged. I remember yelling to a man who was running outside - "Help me! My car is on fire!". He came running toward my car and tried to open the passenger door. It wouldn't budge. Finally, they told me to climb out of the window, and two men yanked me out. I remember freaking out because I didn't have any shoes on - they were still on my floorboard. I stood out on the highway, in the pouring rain, with glass all around me while in stocking feet. Finally, a nice man grabbed my shoes from inside the car, and shook the glass out and put them on me.

I stood against the guardrail, blood pouring from my lip, my forehead, and my arm, and bummed a smoke from a guy in the Civic that had hit behind me. Within a few minutes, the ambulances and State troopers were there, and I was off to the hospital.

All in all, 20 cars were involved in the pileup on I-75 North, just south of the Main Street exit. No one was severely hurt - just a lot of broken bones and cuts and scrapes. Incredibly lucky, considering the speeds and the conditions. I met a lot of people who I definitely felt more sorry for. The girl who hit me in the back turned 19 yesterday. How shitty is that, a huge car wreck on your birthday. The lady on the side of me, in a brand new Toyota Corolla, had not even made her first payment on her new car. She was heartbroken.

I'm fine. They ran tests on me until midnight. I have a bunch of painpills and muscle relaxers. The worst part is my arm and my neck. My arm has four or five big scrapes on it, and a bunch of red blotchy places where the blood has come up to the surface. I figure that I hit out the window with my elbow, and that is how it got all messed up. My neck is all bruised up, most likely from the airbag. Other than that, I just hurt. I feel like I was in a car wreck. My hips and back and shoulders and arms hurt. I feel the damage would have been worse if I had not blacked out right before I hit the cars in front of me. My anxiety was somewhat stilled by that. I didn't freak out afterwards, either. I didn't end up crying until much, much later in the hospital, when my mother held me in the examination room.

I never thought I was going to die. I remember thinking, "This is not happening." I keep remembering that sight - the cars stopped ahead of me in the fog, and my sinking realization that I am not going to be able to stop in time. Each time I think about it again I get nauseous.

I'm glad to be here. Amazing how life can change in an instant, and how some things you really have no control over. I don't think I could have done much for a better outcome. I am thrilled to pieces that no one was severely injured. I am impressed that my car held up as well as it did. I am impressed that I held up as well as I did, since my car looks so terrible.

I'll let you know my input about the whole thing soon. I think I need to go back to bed.


Car Wreck #2, I-75, August 17, 2005 Posted by Picasa


Car Wreck: I-75, August 17, 2005 Posted by Picasa

Saturday, August 13, 2005


The Dalai Lama - or KD Lang for short Posted by Picasa

Anywhere But Here

Did you know this is a song by K.D. Lang? The lyrics are a lot like the purpose behind this blog. Funny I am becoming apathetic and installed in my location now, and I am not dreaming of "anywhere but here" so often.


Anywhere But Here
by K. D. Lang

All too often I set my life aside.
All Too often my dreams went sailing by.
A chance of freedom, a chance of fate, a chance I'll take.
Oh leave it all to disappear. I'm heading anywhere but here.

All too often the dreams I've dreamed have died.
And all too often I'm never satisfied.
A chance of freedom, a chance of fate, a chance I'll take.
Oh leave it all to disappear. I'm heading anywhere but here.

Because I want a life, a souvenir.
I'll find it anywhere but here.
(California is gonna be the place for me.)
Oh leave it all to disappear. I'm heading anywhere but here.

Because I want a life, a souvenir.
I'll find it anywhere but here.
I'll find it anywhere but here.
I'm heading anywhere but here

Friday, August 12, 2005

Trump's Wisdom

I admit that I deeply love "The Apprentice", and I have begun to sweat w/out it on primetime for that past few months. But the absolute, astounding ego of that man kills me. You know he has a University, right? A Trump style business school for the younger generation of brash, classless, and iron fisted wheelers and dealers.

Read Trump's blog for hilarious blurbs. He only posts a sentence or two of wisdom at a time, but the depth of understanding within that man is just immense. Soak it up, little butterfly.

http://donaldtrump.trumpuniversity.com/.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Oh Beautiful for spacious skies Posted by Picasa

Conspiracy Theory

I am not big on conspiracy theories, mostly because I am always secretly baffled by the fervor displayed by zealots who pass these tokens around like bubblegum. Why am I never that excited about anything?

But as time catches up with me, and the crows feet that appeared after my sixteenth grow deeper and more shadowy, I begin to realize that I do have that kind of fervor...it just comes and goes. I would hate to think I am bipolar, but I find it odd how I am all of a sudden struck by a feverish excitement, that lasts only a very short time.

My thing today is the mad bureaucrats, politicians, and corporate honchos that are sucking the life out of my town, and slowly killing the people here.

Plant Bowen is a thirty year old coal burning power plant that sits about 10 miles from the center of Cartersville. You can see the smokestacks for miles. It is ominous and ever present.

As you all know, I have been house hunting. I recently talked myself into looking into some neighborhoods near the ridge right in front of Plant Bowen. Normally, I swear up and down that I will never live near that thing, but I was starting to feel desperate and I saw a couple of really great deals.

Long story short, today I earned back my fortitude. No pollution caused cancer in my household, thank you. Studies show that Plant Bowen is in the top ten worst pollutants in the country, between its emissions of mercury, arsenic, and something else...sorry, I can't remember.

I educated my mother about it too, as she has been looking for houses for me as a distraction from her normal non-working day. She had gone up that ridge, (off the end of Mission Road, for those of you familiar with Cartersville) and met a builder who almost sold her on a new house up there.

I kind of freaked and told her that the idea of living there gave me the willies. I then faxed her a bunch of articles about Plant Bowen, so she and I could quickly end the speculation and what-ifs right there.

HERE IS THE CONSPIRACY:

The section of farmland on the Eastern side of Plant Bowen has become a new tract home stronghold for the area. It is a bit ridiculous - what was once corn fields and creeks is now row after row of goofy subdivision signs, with stupid names like "Fox Hell" and "Whispering Innuendoes" and "Amber Pussy-hair".

It is my contention that this development was initially subsidized by the Southern Company, the owner of Plant Bowen. They knew that if they could populate the area constantly, with the constant sale and resale of crappy spec tract homes, that they could better hide the incidences of cancer that popped up in the geographic area. Think about it: how better to explain a larger than average group of affected individuals than by explaining that the population had a new batch of "out-of-towners" moving in, and that the surrounding area was steadily growing so it is impossible to tell the actual ratio in the given population....

Assholes. I'm going to work for the EPA.

For More info, read:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.treepower.org/news/southerncopowerplant.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.treepower.org/news/ajcsouthernco.html&h=214&w=280&sz=19&tbnid=JXXoSfC76R4J:&tbnh=83&tbnw=109&hl=en&start=6&prev=/images%3Fq%3DPlant%2BBowen%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

http://www.cleanenergy.org/resources/factsheets/AtlantaAir.pdf

http://www.georgiapirg.org/pdfs/airtoxicsfs.pdf

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Man 1, Bank O

For kicks, log onto http://www.man1bank0.com/showInfo.cfm.
Learn about a bored brave soul who decided to deposit a non-negotiable check, from his junk mail, in the amount of 95K into his bank account. (Apparently part of a joke...I'm not sure what the joke is or was...oh well). What happened next is fodder for the centuries. He is hosting a very successful one-man show about the whole thing, called "Man 1, Bank O".

"The reviews are in on Patrick Combs' Man 1, Bank 0, and they look good. "This guy's got STAR POWER." says Hollywood's Variety Magazine. "HILARIOUS and AMAZING. This is - by far the BEST PERFORMANCE I saw. I can't recommend it enough." raves the Orlando City Beat. “If there were a PEOPLE'S CHOICE award, judging by it’s SELLOUTS, Man 1, Bank 0, would likely win.” said the Winnipeg Free Press. "JAW-DROPPINGLY FUNNY...literally had us SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER. Patrick is a BRILLIANT STORYTELLER." said Janet Munsil, director of UNO Festival. "An INVIGORATING ROLLER COASTER RIDE presented by a bona fide, ballsy jester. Combs is the underdog-- he is us." said the Victoria Times Colonist. "In this TRIUMPHANTLY TRUE story, Patrick Combs poses the question: is found money your money?" noted the San Francisco Guardian. "More than just 'A HELLUVA TALE'... With WELL PLAYED VILLIANS AND HEROES, Man 1 is something of a comic reworking of DAVID VERSUS GOLIATH, or even, maybe, 1984" wrote the Charleston City Paper. “See the performance. Combs is DESTINED FOR BIG THINGS.” said the Orlando City Beat."
---------
Reminds me of this nutty communist from class last week. He is half-black, half-jewish, and spouts philosophical theory like a Marx Brother. We'll call him Ham in the future because I know he will come up some more.

Ham gave this pseudo intellectual diatribe about how it was positively confounding - the whole swippeee the credit card thing. Apparently when you swipe your stripe, a "blip" is registered, noting your debit from your account. Ham explained how this was a form of fraud, that your "blips"could register your debt.

What the hell, dude. Go ring up all of your blips if necessary, in fact, order more credit cards through the mail and register as many blips as you can. Then, like a true radical moron, you can file Chapter 13 and secretly congratulate yourself on how you "beat the man".


Not a baby anymore. Owwww.  Posted by Picasa

Kindergarten

My daughter starts kindergarten tomorrow. Ouch. It hurts just writing that.

Over the past year or so, I have become really congnizant that she is getting to be a real little girl now - not just a cute Gerber baby with curly hair.

Let's see - what has made me aware -

- Losing her front tooth
- Learning to tie her shoes
- Memorizing 4+4, 8+8, 16+16, 32 +32, and so on
- Her hair is now long enough to french braid
- I think she has cried for me twice in the past year
- Her favorite phrase is "It's a portal! Let's go through it!!!"
- She can wear my t-shirts to sleep in
- She doesn't die when she goes somewhere without her puppy.

Those of you without children may not understand the wistfulness I am feeling right now. I had such an amazing time with her as a baby and as a toddler, it has seemed completely surreal that she has really grown up into a girl. I can't pick her up very easily anymore, and that makes my heart hurt. I can't hold her on my hip, and walk around because it puts my back out.

I want more babies. Ooops. I didnt' say that. Don't you dare repeat it because it was a Tourrette's syndrome moment. I didn't mean it.

Saturday, August 06, 2005


Feeling a bit loopy. Posted by Picasa

Ramblings like an eejit

I discovered a new way to make one of my shakes, and that has been my complete highlight of the week. I had been having 5 orange creamsicle shakes a day. (Mix those orange flavored crystal light powder packets with lime club soda and vanilla ice cream for the same effect - add some protein powder and you can pretend it's halfway good for you). After 3 months, that got a bit stagnant.

A couple weeks back, I went with Z to go hang out with his daughter. They always go to Wendy's after he picks her up - she has a thing for this boy behind the counter. I decided it wasn't in my best interest to be there - even though I absolutely detest Wendy's - so I walked a block to the Quik Trip to get a drink. I decided on a Sobe Lean Green Tea...ended up going back and getting another and dumping my shake powder in there.

So now I have this ridiculous box of Green Tea on my kitchen counter, that holds 1800 teabags or something. My only issue is that I have to treat it like coffee and cut myself off of them by 5 PM because I refuse to drink decaf versions of anything.

I admit it. I'm one of those habit eaters. I find something I like and eat that for 3 months or so before I hate it for a couple of years. I remember one summer I lived off of lemons with sugar and brown rice.

There is something a bit obsessive compulsive and off kilter about this inclination. I mean, why couldn't I be someone who liked to have a bunch of variety, and spice things up? Ugh Oh. Now I am considering how I am living in the box, and I don't shake things up enough, and I am living like some boring accountant with three cats and teapots decorating her kitchen that is bearing a hideous apple wallpaper decor....

I need a beer.

Surely this awfully strange mode of thinking that just took place is a symptom of my 12 hours of sleep last night - I took a pill at about 10 after I got home from the grocery store and ended up passing out at 3. Woke at 3. Strange sleep.

I remember waking at 6 AM, running into the kitchen because I thought I was late to work. Could barely get it together to make a pot of coffee...I kept holding on to the kitchen counter and falling asleep, standing up. Woke up a few minutes later and made just a little bit more progress on the coffee.

I actually managed to get a pot going, and stick a mug of green tea in the nuker for my shakes.

Charky walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "Mommy, can we go to Grandma's already?"

Then I realized. I was a positive idiot, getting ready for work on a Saturday morning. Tucked her in, stumbled back to bed, where Z groaned when I crawled in and broke up his groove.

And that is my story. I am a bit off today.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Did I tell you?

That my brother's girlfriend ( it's serious this time. I swear. He told my mother, for the first time in his life of pimpdom, that he is in love) is younger than me? Isn't that kooky? My sister's man is more than a decade younger, my brother's woman is just barely a woman, and my own partner in crime is almost 13 years older....is there some weird May-December thing going on?

My Momma tole me

Did anyone else learn that it is absolutely distasteful and crass, dare I say it, even nouveau riche, to discuss how much money someone makes? Especially someone you know?

My boss subscribes to this magazine - it makes him feel good because it is all about the position he wants - that of his own boss.

He spent 30 minutes sitting in my cubie today, reading the cover article aloud - "The Millionaires". Basically a run through of the top paid people in that particular position. Exclaims, loudly, over the notation of his own bosses salary (#48 of 198) and says, over and over and over

"That's a fuc& load of money...That's a fuc& load of money....Think about how much money that is..."

I "pish posh"ed him, which seems to irritate him a bit.

"I had no idea you were so well off."

I walked off. In my head, I was mentally fuming. Over the embarassment of having to be subjected to that kind of base envy. Over the embarassment that he is so loud everyone on my wing can hear everything he says. Over the absolute idiocy of a man who still carries that kind of schoolkid like wishfulness - like 13 year old girls reading Cosmo, wishing they were Gisele so they could bang Leo.

No, I don't have any money. Somehow the perverse experience of being surrounded by millionaires, even billionaires, for the formative years of your youth, when your own family is embarassingly upper middle class...that is enough to drive the desire of money out of your soul for life. Sure, I think about how I am broke all of the time. Lately, I have been having panic attacks about it in my sleep. Yes, I admit that I feel a hidden sense of jealousy that I can't afford the things I want - only the things my family needs. I was scoping out wedding dresses the other day in "Bride" and was ashamed to find that I had visually picked out the most expensive dress ad in the book - a 9K Vera Wang job.

When you become so envious of others that you actually begin to hate your self, your origins, you give up that lust. I often think it was some kind of fairyland to grow up where I did...I spent most of my time at my best friend's house. Her Father owned a chain of Cadillac dealerships in the Bay Area. She always had the most amazing food in her cupboards, and her mom gave her the Visa to go to the mall...she was 12 for chrissakes.

I'm not envious. More saddened and disheartened by those who still are. Because you have to admit, in the grand scheme of life (and in the East Bay) a $700 K gross yearly income is not spectacular. Your love for the human family is spectacular. Your wish to be good to others. Your wish that others do well, and succeed.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Meth Sucks Balls, courtesy of THE BASTARDLY

Okay, now we are back to our prototypical "Drugs are bad" self, after sleeping it off and reading this mornings Bastardly post. That man is awesome. Drugs are bad.

Read, "Meth Sucks Balls".
http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/01/31/meth-sucks-balls/

Monday, August 01, 2005


Count Basie's Bus : the original reefer man Posted by Picasa

Sex on Methadone sucks

Kind of funny, considering sex on so many other kinds of additives is really quite nice. Sex on stimulants is amazing...frenetic and full of passion. Sex on hallucinogens is fun, too. Kind of languid, dreamy, and lasts forever.

Methadone, however, is another story. I have watched the movie "Gia" a thousand times. I love Angelina Jolie - if ever I were to have a girl crush, she would be it. Besides, my best friend loves the movie as much as I do. So much, in fact, I bought us both DVDs of the flick for her birthday.

Anyway, Gia was a bisexual heroin addict supermodel with a bit of nymphomania. She banged a lot of people in that flick, almost as many as Rebecca Romijn Stamos in "Femme Fatale". (Watch it while eating italian and drinking Chivas. By the first meatball (heh heh), you'll be taking bets on who Rebecca is going to nail next).

Gia was later said to have only had sex with people because that was what they expected. She just wanted to feel loved, like most other narcissistic personality disorders (NPDs). So Angelina in her break out role is a bit of a hook.

Funny thing is, I can't picture Angelina with a just-fuc&ed satisfied look on her face during that movie. I think the heroin got in the way. I don't know a whole lot about heroin, but I know that Gia didn't l0ok like she was well screwed. Suffice to say that methadone doesn't do it either.

ON A SIDE NOTE, REGARDING BILLY BOB THORNTON:

I know you all have seen that clip of Billy Bob and Angelina showing up at the Oscars together. Keep that in mind during my next sidenote.

I recently was telling my mother about Billy Bob starring in the "Bad News Bears" remake. She wrinkled her nose, stuck out her top lip in a squinch, and said imperiously, "I don't like that man."

(My mother saying that she doesn't like something is somewhat akin to Martha Stewart saying that something is a "good thing". If Martha were to say "that's not a good thing", wouldn't you be terrified that she would have Wusthof knives shoot out of her breasts? That is the same feeling I get when my mother says she "doesn't like" it.)

I asked her, a bit surprised, why she didn't like Billy Bob.

"Did you see him at the Oscars with that hooker? Did you hear what he said?"

For those of you who can't recall, Billy Bob explained, after exiting the limo and speaking to the reporters on the red carpet, that they (he and Angelina) "just fuc&ed in the limo on the way over". Meanwhile, Angelina is nibbling his ear, and practically climbing on top of him.

I just thought it was pretty funny that my mother views Angelina as a hooker, and Billy Bob as - and this is a quote - "white trash".

I personally find Billy Bob to be a refreshing redneck. Utterly bangable, and from Texas nonetheless. Yum. Angelina is just a free love free spirit - what is wrong with that? Wouldn't you do Brad Pitt?

What a generation gap. These two celebrities fall in my celebrity hero list, and my mother finds them utterly reprehensible.

I miss CA: A message from my liberal mentor-in-law

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly,and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on aconversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and isnamed Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans aregrown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhereelse in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseballcap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS GeorgeClooney!!

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every newsstation: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are allbusy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hourearly to avoid all the weather- related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you'rehere illegally, they want to give you one!!!